Happy B-Day to me!! Diary Entry - April 26th 2010

Dear Diary!!

Happy Bday to me!!  I cant believe this past year of my existance.  It has been the most amazing year of my life.  In one year, I have lost all this weight, I have met my soul mate, I have re-connected with someone near and dear to my heart, I have met ms Shawna, I have gotten a good job, I have gotten my life on a track I have been waiting for my entire life.  Who says wishing on stars doesn't work ...  They are wrong - It does. 

The new lease on life -

Losing weight seems so simple to most people, they dont realize the effect it has on the person, and society around them.  I feel accepted.  Not only by myself... I accept who I am now.  I see that I am beautiful and I do deserve a good life.  Before when I was miserable I expected what I got which was shit.  Now I dont expect anything but the best and thats what I am getting.  Expecting the best is not wrong - and I finally see that.  Society - What an amazing feeling it is to be accepted by society.  I can walk down the street eatting something and no one really looks and stares at me.  In the recent months I have been hit on more times than I can remember and it makes my jaw drop.  One man even tried pumping my gas and he paid for it!! 

My SoulMate -

Yes I am sure you guys hear of him nearly too much, but you dont understand what it is for me to say honestly, hands down, this man completes me.  I have never been as happy as I am right now.  Everyone says, we are perfect for one another, his personality fits everything I have ever wanted from a man, it - simply put - completes my personality.  I am soo in love.


New age, new years, starts at 10:08Am.  This year - I am going to strive for me.... Sitting here on this balcony, watching the ocean water slam against the sand I think to myself..... I am making my wishes on myself.  I am what the stars to me - used to be.  They used to be consistant, always their even if I couldnt see them, I knew they were there so making a wish on this seemed perfect.  Now - I can depend on myself.  I am as strong and as beautiful as the stars are... I will be making this years wishes - On ME!

Happy B-day to me, here is to a NEW year of bigger and better things, accomplishments, and the second year of my new life. 

Heres to being TWO!

Jessica

Dear Diary April 8th 2010

Dear Diary,

So... I was just sitting here at work thinking about my weightloss so far - where I want to be and how I need to get there.  I am 3.4-5.4 pounds away from being in One-derland.  I have been stuck here for a couple months now.  It think  it is time for me to make a move - change my ways... and progress to goal.  Every goal I have ever made for myself I have let it slip through my fingertips.  Every single time!  It isnt like I am miles from goal, I wait until I am just in arms reach from goal and I throw it under the table.


A couple quotes that have got me to the thought process I am at now:

"The pessimist sees difficulty in every opportunity, The optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty." - Winston Churchill

"If you do not know where you are going.  How can you expect to get there?" - Basil S. Walsh

"Plenty of people have missed their share of happiness, not because they never found it, but because they didn't stop to enjoy it." - William Feather


So, I have a goal.  I am not throwing it under the table, I have decided to move forth... for once in my life I will make my goal. - BEFORE my birthday - April 26th 2010. 

I have 18 days to make goal - See ONE-DerLAND!!!!

Jessica

Diary Entry 4-7-2010

Dear Diary,

Today makes 19 days til my 27th birthday!  27... I can't believe it.  I know I shouldnt be in shock about turning 27, I mean every year you get a year older but it seems like I am getting a little wiser - maybe a little more intune with what I want from life...  So a Year older and a Year wiser!  This year of my life has been absolutely amazing.  I turned 26 and 2 weeks later I had Gastric Bypass surgery.  Lost use of my legs, gained them back with a lot of work and pain, in August I met an amazing man, and Novemeber we moved in together to really get to know one another.  We have been together 8 months as of April 30th.  Our lives have quickly became a web, and I am not sure I care to remove myself from the web. 

There comes a time in your life where you have to make decisions that have always scared you  - decisions to grow up... decisions to find Mr Right... the decisions on a career, a family, hobbies... everything.

I have been so scared of making these decisions all of my life, and I think that is based on the fact I have never loved myself or thought well enough of myself to think I deserved what I hav always desired...

I have made some decisions - and the results are on their way.....

*Smiles*

Jessica