In a room full of people it feels like no one else is around and I have never had this feeling ever before. But I hope it stays and lasts forever. You are my heart and soul, and you have taught me a new meaning for love that I love to fight because it scares me.... but if you are willing to support me while I get through this and risk the fall... it will be worth it I swear.
i love you.
Sunday, November 21, 2010
Friday, November 12, 2010
Dear Diary 11/12/2010
Dear Diary...
Today while sitting in the Dunkin Donuts drive through, I was waiting for two middle aged women to figure out how to ring up my order of a single Ice Coffee and I thought to myself... They are middle aged women working at Dunkins with teenagers - How did they get there? How did they get to the point of being in their late forties, waking up and putting on their, burnt coffee smelling, uniform - coming into work to make iced coffee and bagging donuts? Every person has a story, every person has a situation that gets them to where they are in their lives at this very moment in time. As I drove off, I thought to myself where do I want to be a year from now - and while in this position do I want someone to see me and think to themselves, "how did she get there?" I need to focus more on where I want to be and not where I have been or who I was.
Anyways - Thanks-giving and Christmas are coming. Around this time every year I think to myself, I wish I had children. I wish I had a house, where a Christmas tree was set to go up the day after Thanks-giving and the kids are excited about making and putting their own Christmas decorations on the tree. I absolutely love the idea of wrapping and filling the bottom of the tree with gifts and not to mention Christmas Morning... Now I sleep in and wake up with my hair a mess and sit on the couch with coffee... but if I had children, they would wake me up screaming Santa was here after my husband and I stayed up most of the night waiting for them to fall asleep and us setting up their gifts all over the room knowing how excited they would be... but I would still get up with my hair a mess, drinking my coffee and watching their little faces grinning ear to ear as they open their gifts - only getting a frown when they open their socks...
So much to look forward to but so much to accomplish before I get there... Its time to start focusing on my future and no longer my past.
Life is so precious - heres to no more wasted time.
Jessica
Today while sitting in the Dunkin Donuts drive through, I was waiting for two middle aged women to figure out how to ring up my order of a single Ice Coffee and I thought to myself... They are middle aged women working at Dunkins with teenagers - How did they get there? How did they get to the point of being in their late forties, waking up and putting on their, burnt coffee smelling, uniform - coming into work to make iced coffee and bagging donuts? Every person has a story, every person has a situation that gets them to where they are in their lives at this very moment in time. As I drove off, I thought to myself where do I want to be a year from now - and while in this position do I want someone to see me and think to themselves, "how did she get there?" I need to focus more on where I want to be and not where I have been or who I was.
Anyways - Thanks-giving and Christmas are coming. Around this time every year I think to myself, I wish I had children. I wish I had a house, where a Christmas tree was set to go up the day after Thanks-giving and the kids are excited about making and putting their own Christmas decorations on the tree. I absolutely love the idea of wrapping and filling the bottom of the tree with gifts and not to mention Christmas Morning... Now I sleep in and wake up with my hair a mess and sit on the couch with coffee... but if I had children, they would wake me up screaming Santa was here after my husband and I stayed up most of the night waiting for them to fall asleep and us setting up their gifts all over the room knowing how excited they would be... but I would still get up with my hair a mess, drinking my coffee and watching their little faces grinning ear to ear as they open their gifts - only getting a frown when they open their socks...
So much to look forward to but so much to accomplish before I get there... Its time to start focusing on my future and no longer my past.
Life is so precious - heres to no more wasted time.
Jessica
Monday, November 8, 2010
Dear Diary 11/08/2010
Dear Diary,
So things are panning themselves out for me. I have plans for my next surgery in the feb, but between now and then I am working hard to move in the company I work for and get as much over time as possible. I am saving to plan for a house. Can you believe it! I want something that I can call my own. I wanted to buy a car first but I think for now I have a vehicle I have no monthly payments on, so I want to go a bit further in the position I am in. I want to buy a house. My plans? To save as much money as I possibly can while paying down on some debt. I think my priorities are starting to take first in my life rather than living every second for what it is. I want a home so I can have a place to lay my head that I know is mine, and then I want to lay my childrens' heads' in their beds in their home. So I guess life is starting to make since and what I want is starting to come out. So for a while here I plan to work as hard as I can to get where I want to bed in a year which is A - either in a new home or in the process of searching for the right one, B - Finished with surgeries for the time being and content where I am in the progress. C - looking into what career choices I have, including being a ways into writing my book.
So I have a lot of goals between now and a year from now... I guess I better get too it huh?
I love my life...
Jessica
So things are panning themselves out for me. I have plans for my next surgery in the feb, but between now and then I am working hard to move in the company I work for and get as much over time as possible. I am saving to plan for a house. Can you believe it! I want something that I can call my own. I wanted to buy a car first but I think for now I have a vehicle I have no monthly payments on, so I want to go a bit further in the position I am in. I want to buy a house. My plans? To save as much money as I possibly can while paying down on some debt. I think my priorities are starting to take first in my life rather than living every second for what it is. I want a home so I can have a place to lay my head that I know is mine, and then I want to lay my childrens' heads' in their beds in their home. So I guess life is starting to make since and what I want is starting to come out. So for a while here I plan to work as hard as I can to get where I want to bed in a year which is A - either in a new home or in the process of searching for the right one, B - Finished with surgeries for the time being and content where I am in the progress. C - looking into what career choices I have, including being a ways into writing my book.
So I have a lot of goals between now and a year from now... I guess I better get too it huh?
I love my life...
Jessica
Saturday, November 6, 2010
dear diary 11/06/2010
So I am sittimg here at work playing with new cell phones and doing pretty much whatever because the computers are down. so I figured no time is better than now to use a Droid 2 to type a blog. its hard on my fingers but like how it slides open but still prefer a touch screen like a HTC Incredible. My phone rocks. Anyways I wish it was 1130 im over sitting here bored . so life is pretty good saving to go to Boston in Jan which will be fun and saving just to save ... I need a nest egg and i dont have one. I think when u finally face the future and see how your life will only pan out if you make it... u start to realize how much control u actually have. life is too short to live miserable. well these buttons are making my fingers hurt... just realized i dont like the droid 2 at all... hmmm
jess
jess
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