Dear Diary,
So another year seems to have come and gone. What to do now? I mean, I feel like every day is just passing me by and I... well to say the least, am F$%king sick of laying about waiting for something better to come along.
I guess I should update you on everything going on... Hmm, where to start...
Well, because I don't feel like going back and checking to see what I have written in my last post, so I will just start with what I feel is relevant.
So, My stomach problems that made my life miserable just about all year last year, was for the most part, controled with medications and eating better, so I went back to work in June, 2011.
Well, I was working, and doing amazing, of course, and I was loving being back at work - that was until I had a fall at work. The fall severely put a damper on my chipper life. I herniated some discs and well, to say the least, I was completely screwed up. I went to the doctor and they put me through workers compensation.
Let me just tell you - Worker's Compensation is a BULLSHIT system. Yeah, it is supposed to help pay for you while your out of work, BUT - They put you through so much BS, it seems more appropriate to simply be fired, so at least while your getting better you can take unemployment. What about Health insurance you say? Well - the situation I am in, seems like it would be better to just go to the ER without insurance.
The WC (worker's compensation) insurance process is BS. I live in Wilmington... This is a large city here in North Carolina, and everything you could need is here. This stupid system is making me drive TWO hours for an Xray... AN XRAY! It has been over four months since my fall and just now we are at the point of testing to see what is wrong. And then, besides that, I have to sit in a car, for two hours with a back that makes it difficult to walk. I walk with a limp for a short amount of time before my legs give out. When I sit for too long I cant move, and they want me to ride in a car for 2 hours - well more like two and a half hours, for an Xray. It is crazy.
Then - on top of that, try to get a check so you can pay your bills. I mean, it is like trying to squeeze blood from an orange, and we are talking an old dried up orange you find in the back of your fridge, not a blood orange.
I don't know, I just know one thing... It has been nearly 5 months, I am still in pain and I am not sure my lawyer understands problems I see. I want to throw things against a wall. Nevermind the fact, my place of employment only cares to save a few bucks instead of their employees health. It is insane... and the company I work for is a LARGE cell phone retailer, so it isnt like they are some small company.
I guess I am not just mad at them, I am also mad at myself. I am not sure, I just know there is more I could be doing out there, more life for me to live and I am stuck here, dealing with pain and discomfort, just trying to get through the day, when the only thing I want to do, is lay here and cry.
I wish we could win the lottery. I would tell my place of employment where to go, pay my lawyer off and just pay for myself to get better, with a doctor who cares and just move on from this... I guess I better buy me a few extra lottery tickets if I can scrounge up the change, and just pray for a miracle.
I will come back to this when I am in a better mood, I am sure you would expect a little more chipper me... right?
With love...
Jessica
So another year seems to have come and gone. What to do now? I mean, I feel like every day is just passing me by and I... well to say the least, am F$%king sick of laying about waiting for something better to come along.
I guess I should update you on everything going on... Hmm, where to start...
Well, because I don't feel like going back and checking to see what I have written in my last post, so I will just start with what I feel is relevant.
So, My stomach problems that made my life miserable just about all year last year, was for the most part, controled with medications and eating better, so I went back to work in June, 2011.
Well, I was working, and doing amazing, of course, and I was loving being back at work - that was until I had a fall at work. The fall severely put a damper on my chipper life. I herniated some discs and well, to say the least, I was completely screwed up. I went to the doctor and they put me through workers compensation.
Let me just tell you - Worker's Compensation is a BULLSHIT system. Yeah, it is supposed to help pay for you while your out of work, BUT - They put you through so much BS, it seems more appropriate to simply be fired, so at least while your getting better you can take unemployment. What about Health insurance you say? Well - the situation I am in, seems like it would be better to just go to the ER without insurance.
The WC (worker's compensation) insurance process is BS. I live in Wilmington... This is a large city here in North Carolina, and everything you could need is here. This stupid system is making me drive TWO hours for an Xray... AN XRAY! It has been over four months since my fall and just now we are at the point of testing to see what is wrong. And then, besides that, I have to sit in a car, for two hours with a back that makes it difficult to walk. I walk with a limp for a short amount of time before my legs give out. When I sit for too long I cant move, and they want me to ride in a car for 2 hours - well more like two and a half hours, for an Xray. It is crazy.
Then - on top of that, try to get a check so you can pay your bills. I mean, it is like trying to squeeze blood from an orange, and we are talking an old dried up orange you find in the back of your fridge, not a blood orange.
I don't know, I just know one thing... It has been nearly 5 months, I am still in pain and I am not sure my lawyer understands problems I see. I want to throw things against a wall. Nevermind the fact, my place of employment only cares to save a few bucks instead of their employees health. It is insane... and the company I work for is a LARGE cell phone retailer, so it isnt like they are some small company.
I guess I am not just mad at them, I am also mad at myself. I am not sure, I just know there is more I could be doing out there, more life for me to live and I am stuck here, dealing with pain and discomfort, just trying to get through the day, when the only thing I want to do, is lay here and cry.
I wish we could win the lottery. I would tell my place of employment where to go, pay my lawyer off and just pay for myself to get better, with a doctor who cares and just move on from this... I guess I better buy me a few extra lottery tickets if I can scrounge up the change, and just pray for a miracle.
I will come back to this when I am in a better mood, I am sure you would expect a little more chipper me... right?
With love...
Jessica
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